My Confessions

Ok. I need to confess. The last few weeks have been very hard on me. From the moment I found out about this annoying little tumor that has taken refuge on my liver, I have been in a type of zombie existence. The last few weeks I have cried until I had absolutely no tears left in my eyes. I have even gotten so depressed that I have recently sought counseling. To be honest, that has helped me alot. I'm not the type to likes to go to the "shrink" but I really had no other options. I am feeling better, and I have done alot of research on hepatic adenomas (liver tumor,benign) and I'm feeling pretty good about my condition now. It is only a benign tumor, just a little annoying spot. I have to keep telling myself that. And I have to stop shutting people out. But anyway, I figured if I just talked about it here, then I can get some peace, by just getting it off my chest. But to be honest, no matter what, I AM SO SCARED. I have never been so scared in my life. I honestly believe I am a great, Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, and Friend. I have given so much to anyone who has asked me for anything. Even if I did get screwed by them in the end, I would still help them. That, and the fact that I am only 22 years old, just makes me ask why me? I'm not an alcoholic nor a drug addict, nor have I ever been. So why my liver? I think about this and then I just try to remember that there is a reason for everything. Maybe I was a good person, but I took my life or family for granted maybe? Maybe this is something to make me open my eyes and realize how lucky I am, and that life is SO precious, so I should appreciate it alot more?

I have alot of questions, but basically it comes down to Everything happens for a reason. And I believe it does.

Ok, so this really wasn't a confession, but mostly just getting my feelings out of my body so they don't build up and explode. I'll be ok, God will make sure of that. I have so much to be thankful for.

MissMissy